I cried when I saw the teacher on the playground blacktop before the chairs were set up. I cried once we sat down and I was reading the program. Then I cried as the mistress and master of ceremony did a bi-lingual introduction of each speaker. I cried when the principal spoke. I cried when the violinist and flautist squeaked out their solos. I cried when their teacher spoke, preached, and highlighted. I cried when the other teacher inspired and motivated. Finally, I cried when the whole class sang the acoustic guitar-accompanied rendition of “We are the World.”
Tears for the past and the future. For the squandered time, the mistakes, the yelling, the poor parenting. For the daily overwhelm. For the inability to remain present 24/7. For not ever feeling like I was doing it right. From vowing to be perfect from now on, and not succeeding.
May they be happy and successful in spite of me.