Recursive thoughts don’t fill up my mind as much as they used to.  It takes me far less time to come to a resolution about things without over-thinking, replaying, etc. 

Last week, with the bad news I had initial panic.  Then I talked to folks and was able to verbalize what about it was uncomfortable.  I had few sleepless nights related to homelessness and being poor and having to move and not having options, but then out of that I was able to see the situation more clearly,  “This might be the ‘kick in the pants’ I need.”  In order to move past the fear, I had to believe that I was good at my work and capable of finding other equally rewarding positions.  I received a good amount of positive feedback this last week, and I thought to myself, “If all these people I admire and respect think I’m good at my work, isn’t it interesting that I don’t believe that myself?”  It helped something shift.

Anyway, throughout the week, which was difficult on a lot of levels (hormonally, vocationally, relationally), I somehow came to have clarity around the situation:  I don’t have to choose work I don’t want to do.  I can take this opportunity to find another place to expand my influence, and I don’t have to kill myself doing it.  There are options, and even if I have to work three jobs, and even if one of them is in a service industry, we will survive, and I will enjoy the diversity of the week and the time it allows me to be present with my family and friends.

In approaching change this time, I have more resources available and I am more aware.  This will allow me to not drive everyone mad while moving through the transition.



  1. You are starting to sound more like your mother everyday. She is the only person I know who could find the receipt for something she bought 3 years ago.



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